Program helps families 'connect'
Left to right: Karen Wittbold, daughter Maggie, and social worker Nancy Borstelmann agree on the value of communication.
When Bill Wittbold learned he had advanced lung cancer, he and his wife, Karen, gathered their seven children around the kitchen table so he could tell them the news. He said he loved them, it wasn't anyone's fault, and they should carry on with their lives. Then, with cancer spread through both of his lungs, the 47-year-old went out to mow the lawn.
A year or so after Bill died, Karen began volunteering with Family Connections, a Dana-Farber/Brigham and Women's Cancer Center program that provides resources to adult patients who are parents, as well as to their children. "I always felt the emotional aspects of having cancer were just as important as the physical ones, and that you have to treat the whole person," says Wittbold.
She should know, as her husband's is not the only cancer she has had to face. She and her 16-year-old son, Sean, are leukemia survivors. Drawing on her and her family's insight from these multiple cancer experiences, Wittbold helps plan the content of Family Connections materials and programs. "We build upon the strengths of families when designing our programs and identify resources that families may need to manage the challenges of illness," says DFCI's Nancy Borstelmann, MPH, LICSW, who directs the program.
Good communication is the key to coping, says Borstelmann, who advises parents to be open and tailor their approach to the age and style of each child.
Family Connections, which receives funding from Stop & Shop, radio station MAGIC 106.7, and the Friends of Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, helps parents and children discuss other potential changes, such as a parent's inability to work. Not shying away from the experience of loss, the team created a bereavement packet for surviving parents or partners to help their children grieve.
Through another program, Kidpack, children and teens whose parents have cancer receive age-appropriate information, resources for support, and fun items such as baseball caps. In addition, parents receive materials about the program and suggestions for talking with their children about their disease. "My children loved the packs," said one parent. "They showed me all the things inside, and we talked a lot about my illness."
