Helen Taylor
Fighting back
When my colon cancer returned in 2005, I decided to attack it with the same intensity I reserve for teaching my kickboxing class and the strength I need as a first-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. My motto became, "Whatever it takes to beat this, I'll do it. I have way too much to live for."
I was first diagnosed in January 2004 with Stage I colon cancer. Like many others with this diagnosis, I had very few symptoms and felt fine, but I also had a feeling something was wrong. When my doctor informed me I had a malignant tumor in my colon and had to have surgery to remove it, I barely had time to think straight. Once I heard the word "cancer," I entered into a kind of fog, not knowing if I was going to live or die, who would take care of my husband and two sons, or how would I get through this. However, the surgery was a success; they removed the tumor and a foot of my colon. After surgery, I was found to be cancer-free, with clear lymph nodes, and required no further treatment. I worked hard to stay healthy through my diet, lifestyle, kickboxing and karate. So, in January 2005, when I had a follow-up colonoscopy with clean results, I thought "cancer" was a word I could erase from my memory.
In September 2005, after taking karate for four years, I was scheduled to start training for my first-degree black belt. Everything was going well. However, in September, even with all my exercising, I became bloated again. I decided to get a CT scan, and on Halloween I heard the worst possible news: my cancer had returned. And, this time, the news was bad; I had a metastatic tumor on my liver. It was inoperable. The shock was almost unbearable. But, being very competitive in both sports and life, I knew I had a tougher fight this time. Having a wonderful husband and two great sons, I knew I had to do everything possible to beat the cancer. I had to get my mind off the cancer and think positive — to think of what I needed to do to keep my body and mind strong enough to fight back. I decided to concentrate on achieving my black belt, which included a lot of physical exercise and positive mental attitude. One requirement for my black belt was to run three miles in 24 minutes or less. I had been working hard all year to achieve this and was not going to let the unwelcome visitor — cancer — hold me back.
When I woke up the morning of the run, I knew I needed to run as hard and fast as I could to push myself to beat the time required. I decided that for that one day I didn't have cancer. I was going to run as never before, not even think about the cancer and make my family and friends proud.
It worked. I ran my fastest time ever — three miles in 23 minutes, 15 seconds.
In November, just two weeks after my qualifying run, I started six months of grueling intravenous chemotherapy. I had my very sad days and I had my "I'm going to beat this" days. And even though I was very weak from losing weight and being on chemo, I kept up my martial arts as best I could. I also continued to teach kickboxing to get my mind off the cancer. I finished with the heavy-duty chemo in May 2006, and was put on Zeloda, taking four caplets a day for two weeks, then one week off.
With the desire to get back to my "old self" even though still on treatment, in June 2006, I began my second phase of intense training for my black belt. Although still not feeling all that well, plus now having neuropathy in both my hands and feet, I had to focus all my strength on completing the 16-week training cycle that included hundreds of pushups, and lots of kicking, punching and sparring. Many nights, I just had to give it my all even if my hands were sore and tired. Then on Jan. 19, 2007, my family and friends celebrated as I was awarded my first-degree black belt. It was something I had to do — to prove to myself that I was stronger than the cancer — and to show my children that if you strongly believe in achieving a goal, not matter what it is, you should go for it.
Today, I am still taking Zeloda and still battling the cancer, but I feel stronger than ever. I continue to take karate and teach kickboxing. I never take anything for granted and thank God for each day I have. I remain hopeful that I will have a long and healthy life ahead of me, especially to be around for my husband and sons. I pray each night that God will give my body the strength to keep fighting the cancer. I will never up hope. And, unlike one doctor who told me that "in the end the cancer will win," I know it will be me who decides who wins. (And it won't be the cancer!)
